why does sol seem to be changing since he broke up with me?
first off he started a conversation with rachael, who he's normally just mean to and picks on, and even said that if she ends up going to leeds to uni, that they should meet up sometimes for coffee. what the hell, that is so unlike him!
secondly, he goes and makes up with chris foster? chris, who now apparently hates me, who used to be one of my closest, sweetest friends... made up with sol? for one thing i havent even done anything wrong. so how sol managed to make friends with chris again when it was actually him that did the thing to upset chris in the first place... did he put the blame on me? i really hope not.
he hasn't spoken to me once since after i started a conversation with him like 2 weeks ago. despite saying he'd like us to stay friends. how does he expect us to stay friends if he doesnt make any effort? i've started a conversation with him twice now, he hasn't made one bit of effort.
now i've seen his profile picture on facebook, and he is SMILING. like, a smile. with his new friend calvin.
i have NEVER seen him smile like that.
was he really that unhappy with me?
was i really that bad of a girlfriend that i couldn't make him smile?





i know i shouldn't be thinking like this. but i can't help it. :( 
i suppose i'm just feeling sorry for myself. this is my first stab of weakness since i recovered from it all.

well it certainly has been a while since I last posted here, I think. it feels like it anyway.

so i'm now a single lady, and surprisingly rather happy in life. i could write about the break-up here, but I've told so many people now I just can't be bothered! hah.
in short, sol said he didn't love me anymore.
we said we'd stay friends, we'll see. i started a conversation with him twice last week, so far he hasn't made an ounce of effort. so let's see how it goes! i'm gonna leave it to him anyway. :)

i am currently obssseeessssed with ulquiorra and orihime in bleach. as a couple. it is like, the best.
i just did a fanart of them. and i want to do like 100 more. http://citizenxerased.deviantart.com/art/Ulquihime-Forbidden-Love-110712762 :D

i'm going to see british sea power on valentiiinness dayyyy :D in liverpool.
and now guess what. we got on the guestlist for their gig in Derby the next night! ;) ahh, our contacts. *cough*phil*cough*
scott's wife dawn has been such an incredible help to me with my breakup. i'm not just sayng that, she is amazing at cheering me up. 

so right now i'm in love with jared leto. 
and possibly ulquiorra. :3

i'm listening to doves. blast from the past. kinda.. not heard from them in a while but apparently theyve got an album coming out spring-time.

so now i'm going to obsess over my current OTP, read some fanfics, maybe do another sketch.
who loves my new header!? kyaaa :D <3


its nice to be back x

- i love katekyo hitman reborn! ....especially mukuro. yum :3
- i love british sea power. meeting them again the other night was lovely. being friends with dawn is lovely. shes a really nice girl.
- i'm still flattered from when she said "scott wants to come and say hi to you" to me. *giggle*
- going out and taking photos with tom and chris was cool.
- my room is still a mess
- i'm babysitting tonight. gaah haha. i'm gonna take my laptop, draw a picture. watch some KHR ♥♥
- i want a mcdonalds sooo baaaddd. >:((((
- i've got celsy into BSP :DDDD !!
- i'm bored of my hair.. i wanna cut it. kinda.
- pictuuuures under the cut

 

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my baby moves to leeds todaaaay. little sollykins *sniffle*

thats my boyfriend, not a child. don't worry.. but waaaahh.
i'm going down there with his mum and himself to take his stuff and help him set up
then i'm staying the night and getting the train home on sunday, or his mum is coming back up again with her bf and we all go out for a meal and she takes me home...
i don't know how i'm going to feel when he's there.
right now i feel ok.
but i know how emotional i can get... so all it takes is time hah.

buuuh.

i'll still be seeing him every weekend so it's ok really.
but uwaahhh my babyyy~ :'(

i'm actually kinda jealous. i wish i was doing something like that... just not the uni part lol.

i think weekends are going to become extra special things from now on. and i'm going to feel a lot more independant.

anyway they should be here soon.
expect dramatic crying rants on my return....
xxxxxxxxxxxx

I'm all alone. My family have gone on holiday to Costa del Sol for a week, and I'm at home on my lonesome. I don't mind having the freedom to do what I want.. and to be on my own, but what I don't like is feeling lonely, and having an empty house. It's sort of creepy too.

They get back on Saturday night.. and my boss invited me out with everyone on that night because its some guy's last shift. I don't know what to do. I'm torn.. I want to stay at home and spend some time with my parents because I miss them and it would be nice to just chill out with them for a bit... But then at the same time, I'd feel like I was missing out if everyone went and I didn't. Also Sol's going whether I'm going or not, he said yes straight away. *sulk* I don't feel right about it. I'll feel left out if I don't go, but I don't even like town. Its horrible.. but I guess, seeing as I've never actually had a night out there, I should at least give it a try some time.
I don't knowww T___________T

How have I been filling my time this week? Well, I've been doing fanart. And I've read all of Bleach, up to the current chapter. My favourite character is Ulquiorra *squee* And my new favourite pairing is UlquiorraxOrihime because its awesome and damn I hope it becomes canon. >3
I did a picture of them..

(click for full view)

I'm gonna go read some Ulquihime fanfics now :3
*squeal*